A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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