yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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