i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I will pee on everything he values.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
