This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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