yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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