I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
