It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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