honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
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12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
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How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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