I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
