We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
