I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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