ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
she peed on how many people?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
