are you so shy because you have an std?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
That accounts for only three of the penises
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
