Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
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Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
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I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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