2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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