his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
