I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
