i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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