I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
