whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
