Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
