I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
