I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Randomize