Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize