My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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