I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
