Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize