shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Shame - the story of my life.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize