Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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