Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
My Higher Power is John Stamos
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize