there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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