break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
