Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
the condom got lost in my hair
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
