We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize