So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
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Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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