I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
