Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Randomize
