She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
