just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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