Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
