Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
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he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
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I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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