so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
