I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
