If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
