she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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