PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
