If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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