Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
