The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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