there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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