Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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