Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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