those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
