Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
