It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
