dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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