I smell stomach acid.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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