Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
