we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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