This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
